Introducing a new chapter – The Fantastic Four

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It was my plan to start blogging again this year so I did all this research and bought all these courses to help me get started again….. I wanted to share my adventures in this world as a woman in her forties who loves makeup and fashion and how despite my health problems I still can keep it cute lol 😝. Unfortunately, looking cute has been the last thing on my mind. Being responsible for 4 new little ones has been extremely hard. I have 3 of my own kids that I’ve pretty much raised…….. my baby girl just turned 18 😫😫 on January 9th and she’s going to graduate in June and then I’m done right…..wrong! My new babies are 3, 5 (just turned 5 on the 21st) 6 and 9…… I know….. I know. Pray πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½ for me please.

My life has been turned upside down and I’m really going through it…..I really hate to complain but I seriously need to vent and just scream 😱 (well on paper anyway). Due to circumstances out of my control, I’ve recently been given temporary custody of my three nieces and nephew. I love these kids with all of my heart ❀️ but I’m so overwhelmed.

One of my biggest issues is that it’s a major change and challenge in my home. We went from a family of four (where everyone pretty much did their own thing every day and night) to a family of eight overnight…. it’s been crazy to say the least. Now we have homework, home cooked meals, I’m literally slaving over the stove for them, bath time and playing referee between everyone. I really have to depend on my family to help me out. Without their help there’s no way I could even try this. So big shoutout to Zariah and Zamia and my hubby ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️ I pray everyday for their sanity as well…even our dog has had to make some changes. (Not that he minds at all lol).

Anyway…….I’m still in heart failure (18yrs) and dealing with all my other health issues…… I know certain people always thought that I was sleeping a lot because I’m lazy but the reality is that I’m sick….. Congestive Heart Failure, Cardiomyopathy, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia and a few smaller ones….. (and it’s truly a blessing that I don’t look the way I feel, but then it’s deceiving because I’m always trying to be cute lol πŸ˜‚…… I mean, who wants to look sick??). The truth of the matter is that I’m very stressed out and it’s not good for my health but there’s nothing I can do…. my anxiety levels rise so high when I think about them going into foster care or being separated…..so that’s not even an option!! Family has to take care of family ❀️.

It is such a huge responsibility to raise someone else’s children…. especially when the children have special needs that you’ve never dealt with… My nephew (the 9yr old) has ADHD and man……..let me tell you…..that condition is no joke. He is on medication for it but the pills don’t last long and when they start to wear off his impulse control is null and void. He’s always getting into something and to say it’s nerve wracking is literally to say the least….smh. The girls are definitely much easier but they each have their own issues as well and let’s just keep it real…they’re toddlers and what do toddlers do? EVERYTHING πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ….they fight, argue, cry and throw tantrums… all the time. Oh yeah…..can’t forget this…they all eat like four big linebackers playing for the Denver Broncos πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Don’t get me wrong for the most part they are all great children with awesome personalities. Its just that when you have to deal with those new personalities 24/7 times four people it can be overwhelming. Although I must say to hear them say “I love you aunty” and give me big hugs and kisses…..those moments are priceless.

So in closing I guess I’m just reintroducing me and my family to you again……I’m going to be sharing my adventures with my new family and managing everything with my health. I hope my adventures can be encouraging and upbuilding for those who are reading my blog….please follow and share if you enjoyed this post.

Until next time…..

J.

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My new journey and adventures πŸ˜Š

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When I first started this blog it was to help me with my weight loss, and then gain, then loss and everything in the middle. LOL!! (Y’all know how it is…lol..don’t leave me on this roller-coaster alone!!)

Now I just want to share ME and all I go through…with my health, my emotions, my likes! my dislikes, my family, my faith and just me.

A day in the life of a diabetic……and what it’s like to live with heart failure. Also learning to live with this new defibrillator. (So far it’s been a nightmare….but I’ll bore you with those details later )πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚

One day I may post about makeup, or clothes. Next day I may share a recipe I found and loved….maybe post 2 or 40 a day…..😱😱😱 (j/k) or a few days later an update on my health….(yes you can tell I have issues LOL). Sooooooooooo if you want to come on this adventure/journey with me…Let’s Go!!!

Me sending out kisses πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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I can be so silly at times πŸ˜‚.

Silly me lol πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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My Ice Cube Mean Face look lol

NOTE: I write this as my personal journal but my only hope is that it can touch one person. If you know of anyone who’s going through ……well…..ummm…….LIFE. Please share this blog with them, or if you enjoy it. I thank whoever reads this, even if it’s one person 😍

Please follow & share…. Thanks guys!!

Six weeks and counting…

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Ok these last six weeks have been beyond crazy. Can you believe I’m still struggling with the pain… Seems so surreal to me 😞.

Hopefully I’ve posted my other blog that I wrote weeks ago and your all caught up…. (Yeah, I know..who do I think I am lol).

So let’s begin….I have been very tired and stressed out. I’ve been dealing with discouragement and depression. Way more than normal…and if I hear one more person say “well you look good” I’m going to snap!! I know that people are just trying to be nice but just say something like “sorry to hear that, or my thoughts are with you….” Anything but that look good comment.

Geez!!!!!!

Sigh….sorry. Unfortunately, I think that my doctors think that. “Well she doesn’t look like she’s in pain”. The cardiologist told me that he can’t refill my pain meds because they feel like a person shouldn’t require them at this stage. HUH?? 😳😳😳😳 says who??? So I have to go to my primary care doctor who decides this would be a good time to get me off pain meds? For real??? 😳😳😳 they just don’t know how fortunate they are that I’m a Real Christian.

The old girl wants to come out & play 😁😁…prayer has kept her away. (So grateful for that Holy Spirit)!

I just don’t get the medical field. You know I’m in pain and that I already deal with chronic pain…..why in the heck would you change my meds in the middle of this storm?

Sigh….. Anyway this has been an experience I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through.. It’s 3:00 in the morning and I’m up dealing with the pain as usual. I have three incisions and none of them like it when I lay down. Honestly there’s not much they do like. The worst is riding in the car…ugh!! I’m pretty sure Colorado has the most pot holes in the world!! 😁 ok maybe not the entire world but that’s what it feels like to me. Lol

So that about sums up my last 6 weeks…I’ve only went out 3 times, that wasn’t for a doctor appointment. I did get to see one of my little Ha!! He’s like 6’5 or something..like a giant lol cousins get married…it was a beautiful wedding and I had fun.

Hopefully and prayerfully my next post will be nothing but positive, happy, up building & encouraging words. Ummmm no strike that I know my next post will be all those things because I have hope and Faith

(And thank you for reading this….if u read this can u please leave me a comment telling me where your from? Sometimes it tells me if your in Canada or South America…just for fun. Also if you would like tell me what you think about this blog.)

Thanks everyone!!!
J

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This is me and my “lil” cousin the groom lol…if u know me u can see the pain in my face…but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world….it was still fun and I stayed in my 4 1/2″ heels the whole time lol 😜! (I also ended up in the bed for 3 days after…..whew, it’s like Beyonce says..pretty hurts πŸ‘ πŸ’…πŸ‘ πŸ‘ )