My new journey and adventures πŸ˜Š

When I first started this blog it was to help me with my weight loss, and then gain, then loss and everything in the middle. LOL!! (Y’all know how it is…lol..don’t leave me on this roller-coaster alone!!)

Now I just want to share ME and all I go through…with my health, my emotions, my likes! my dislikes, my family, my faith and just me.

A day in the life of a diabetic……and what it’s like to live with heart failure. Also learning to live with this new defibrillator. (So far it’s been a nightmare….but I’ll bore you with those details later )πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚

One day I may post about makeup, or clothes. Next day I may share a recipe I found and loved….maybe post 2 or 40 a day…..😱😱😱 (j/k) or a few days later an update on my health….(yes you can tell I have issues LOL). Sooooooooooo if you want to come on this adventure/journey with me…Let’s Go!!!

Me sending out kisses πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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I can be so silly at times πŸ˜‚.

Silly me lol πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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My Ice Cube Mean Face look lol

NOTE: I write this as my personal journal but my only hope is that it can touch one person. If you know of anyone who’s going through ……well…..ummm…….LIFE. Please share this blog with them, or if you enjoy it. I thank whoever reads this, even if it’s one person 😍

Please follow & share…. Thanks guys!!

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1 week, 2 days post op…

Side Note- I actually wrote this way back when and I decided to post it anyway.

Life with a new device….

Can I just tell you guys how much pain I’ve been in 😁….ohhhh weeee it has been a roller coaster of emotions!! First I’m mad, then I’m grateful, then I’m sad and boo hooing every 5 minutes or I’m laughing uncontrollably over something that’s really not that funny….whew….yes, I know I have issues lol.

Ok, so I was scheduled to receive a defibrillator on Friday the 25th (of April, in the year 2014 in case y’all didn’t know. I’m beyond nervous about the procedure but hey I figure my mom has one and my daddy has a pacemaker and if they old behinds can do it, I got this!! so surely I can be strong & have Faith…

However, one of the nurses called and asked me to come in 2 hrs before I was scheduled…and I tell her “sure…okay..no problem” meanwhile every other part of me is screaming “Girl….What the hell-o kitty have u got us into now!!!!???!?”

So long story short (no seriously, don’t u hate when people say that after a 2 hour story and they actually think it was quick 😱) I was asked in early to try out a new form of the surgery…I was told that it would be my doctors first time doing the surgery and it had been out only about 2 years so I said “sure”. No kidding guys, I actually said “sure” and this was way before they gave me any drugs.

My husband and my mom both said to get the older model, it’s been around much longer, only one incision, a battery life of 8-10years…. The new device only has a 5 year battery life, it doesn’t act also like a pacemaker, it’s only there if your heart stops to restart it. It was almost double the size of the other. So you may be thinking why the heck I didn’t choose that one…makes u scratch your head as I’m typing I’m thinking yea crazy and wonder why..

I’ll tell you why…the old way they actually go in and connect the lines to your heart,
The procedure was expected to be around 2hrs and I would be able to go home the following day….Yeah Right. It turns out I was in there a total of 6hrs & stayed in the hospital for 4 days.

It’s been a rough recovery, one of my incisions has started to leak and I had to go back in and they cleaned it out and applied a new dressing. I have to change the dressing everyday…hoping it doesn’t get infected and that one day…very soon I pray I can take a shower again…..aaaaahhhhh

An update of me….

Hey guys, it’s been another minute since I’ve posted anything. I’ve been thinking & praying about what I should do….so I decided to continue this journey with you. πŸ™‚

Well in the last three months that you haven’t heard from me, there’s been a lot going on. I got pneumonia TWICE, was on enough antibiotics to save a small country! They have again changed my medication (doubled it), and I had another echo.

Before I had the echo (they gave me 3 months) I was told if it’s not better they would recommend the defibrillator. So two days after my echo I get the call…it’s actually my doctor……… *Sigh***** Now I’ve been his patient for four years & he’s never called me so right away I knew.

Sooooo, long story short I’m getting the defibrillator installed, put in this Friday the 25th. I’m only suppose to stay one night so I should be home Saturday so you can send me cards, flowers & money 😊 if you want to visit me…….Ooh or you can send me lives on pet rescue lol, I’m addicted!! (Don’t judge me lol).

I’m sharing this so you can send the money, flowers, cards & lives with you for encouragement, prayer and love… I want everyone in my family to know I love them & that I’m not lazy …I’m just enduring each day…and I’m grateful to have each & everyone of you in my life.

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This is what heart failure looks like…….. Everybody (and I do mean Everybody, doctors & nurses) always say “you look too good to be sick”.

That’s because I’m beautiful dang it……sigh…..curse this beauty lol. Just kidding!! or am I, hmmmmmhahaha

Thanks for continuing on my journey with me!

Can you imagine……my broken heart

Finally home after 4 days in the hospital, part of me wishes I would have stayed there. It’s very stressful being back home. Nobody to check my blood, check my vitals and bring me food…(well maybe not the food it was gross).

I’m so nervous about my heart that I’m over reacting to every small little thing….I mean who wouldn’t?? The doctor tells me that my heart is really failing now, over the last 13 years I guess it’s just getting tired. An average persons heart works at 55%. My poor heart is down to 20%. The lowest it’s ever been.

Can you imagine going into the hospital for a blood clot in your lung (which can be fatal)..and then take a test to see how your heart is doing and then all of a sudden nobody is thinking about the clot!!! It’s sooooo bad that they tell you, if you don’t improve with all these new medications…you may need a defibrillator in your heart…and if it doesn’t get better you may need a heart transplant??

Can you imagine…….feeling so alone and sad? Unable to cry in front of your family because you want them to be strong?? I regret that because I’ve held it in until now and as I’m typing and crying my eyes out, I realize that I should have let them in. I now know that they don’t realize how severe my condition is….how much I need each & everyone of them to help me fight….to help me out.

I wasn’t in the hospital for a broken nail!! My heart is failing AND I have a clot in my lung!!! How more severe can it be??? And of course if I die people will say how they cared and loved me…and bring flowers to my family…I won’t need it then !!! I NEED LOVE NOW!!!!!

One of the top problems of my heart is being stressed out all the time!! So I need my flowers now while I can smell them, not when I’m dead and gone….Sorry to be so emotional….just being honest. I know I don’t look sick but know you know the truth.

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