Sitting here in the hospital feeling a little better ☺️. (In case your wondering why I’m in the hospital (day 3) is I have a blood clot in my lung and I’m in heart failure…very bad failure. Ejection fraction should be 50-55% and mine is only 20%. I’m not overly worried about it, I’m here getting the meds and help I need.) So I had an aha moment! I realize that this is my journey and I’m going to share it, maybe it can help someone or maybe not.

I started this blog when I was doing optifast and felt like I needed to share my experience and be encouraging & inspiring. Some how though I lost my way……… I wanted to be sooo inspiring to other people that I forgot to inspire myself.

With that said, I’m going to re-start this journey. I may encourage one person, or maybe none…but at this point in time I need to encourage ME. Here is where I can be myself. Sometimes I regret people knowing who I am because that’s the fear that kept me away. I didn’t want people to…..hmm, judge me. 😉

I realize that every time I hit “post” I’m sharing it with the world. The very sad thing about it is, strangers seem to be more encouraging than people I see all the time! But….I just don’t care anymore. I am ME and you can either take ME as I am or keep it pushing. I’m not trying to offend anyone either….I am just trying to be ME. (“Sanging”the Mary J. Blige song lol)

Annnnnyyyyywwwaaayyyyy….I’m sitting here thinking about my life and how I coulda, woulda, shoulda…and realize……that’s a huge waste of time!! (And unnecessary stressor, I have enough, thank you very much).

1. Yes I could have slept with my C-Pap machine 5 years ago when I got it (maybe even 7 years 😳) but I didn’t.
2. Yes I could have kept up with tracking my diabetes.
3. Yes I should have been exercising and keeping my weight down.
4. Yes I should have seen the cardiologist more.
5. Yes I could have taken my meds better.
6. One of my biggest issues….I could have learned to deal with my STRESS adequately!!

And so on and so on….the fact is…I can’t whew I wish to God there was change anything I did yesterday. I can take note of my mistakes and pray not to make the same ones…and to grow from them.

SO having said all of that…today I will: (and only today, not worry or be anxious of tomorrow, Jesus said “Who can add one cubit of your life by worrying about the next day”. Matthew 6:27.)

1. Do my bible reading.
2. Keep track of what I eat. (Write it down).
3. Keep track of my blood sugars & pressure.
4. Enjoy today.
5. Hug & kiss my family
6. Smile

(If you are reading this I hope and pray you have a great Saturday) 🙂

J.Marie