Introducing a new chapter – The Fantastic Four

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It was my plan to start blogging again this year so I did all this research and bought all these courses to help me get started again….. I wanted to share my adventures in this world as a woman in her forties who loves makeup and fashion and how despite my health problems I still can keep it cute lol 😝. Unfortunately, looking cute has been the last thing on my mind. Being responsible for 4 new little ones has been extremely hard. I have 3 of my own kids that I’ve pretty much raised…….. my baby girl just turned 18 😫😫 on January 9th and she’s going to graduate in June and then I’m done right…..wrong! My new babies are 3, 5 (just turned 5 on the 21st) 6 and 9…… I know….. I know. Pray πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½ for me please.

My life has been turned upside down and I’m really going through it…..I really hate to complain but I seriously need to vent and just scream 😱 (well on paper anyway). Due to circumstances out of my control, I’ve recently been given temporary custody of my three nieces and nephew. I love these kids with all of my heart ❀️ but I’m so overwhelmed.

One of my biggest issues is that it’s a major change and challenge in my home. We went from a family of four (where everyone pretty much did their own thing every day and night) to a family of eight overnight…. it’s been crazy to say the least. Now we have homework, home cooked meals, I’m literally slaving over the stove for them, bath time and playing referee between everyone. I really have to depend on my family to help me out. Without their help there’s no way I could even try this. So big shoutout to Zariah and Zamia and my hubby ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️ I pray everyday for their sanity as well…even our dog has had to make some changes. (Not that he minds at all lol).

Anyway…….I’m still in heart failure (18yrs) and dealing with all my other health issues…… I know certain people always thought that I was sleeping a lot because I’m lazy but the reality is that I’m sick….. Congestive Heart Failure, Cardiomyopathy, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia and a few smaller ones….. (and it’s truly a blessing that I don’t look the way I feel, but then it’s deceiving because I’m always trying to be cute lol πŸ˜‚…… I mean, who wants to look sick??). The truth of the matter is that I’m very stressed out and it’s not good for my health but there’s nothing I can do…. my anxiety levels rise so high when I think about them going into foster care or being separated…..so that’s not even an option!! Family has to take care of family ❀️.

It is such a huge responsibility to raise someone else’s children…. especially when the children have special needs that you’ve never dealt with… My nephew (the 9yr old) has ADHD and man……..let me tell you…..that condition is no joke. He is on medication for it but the pills don’t last long and when they start to wear off his impulse control is null and void. He’s always getting into something and to say it’s nerve wracking is literally to say the least….smh. The girls are definitely much easier but they each have their own issues as well and let’s just keep it real…they’re toddlers and what do toddlers do? EVERYTHING πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ….they fight, argue, cry and throw tantrums… all the time. Oh yeah…..can’t forget this…they all eat like four big linebackers playing for the Denver Broncos πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Don’t get me wrong for the most part they are all great children with awesome personalities. Its just that when you have to deal with those new personalities 24/7 times four people it can be overwhelming. Although I must say to hear them say “I love you aunty” and give me big hugs and kisses…..those moments are priceless.

So in closing I guess I’m just reintroducing me and my family to you again……I’m going to be sharing my adventures with my new family and managing everything with my health. I hope my adventures can be encouraging and upbuilding for those who are reading my blog….please follow and share if you enjoyed this post.

Until next time…..

J.

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What’s been up with me…..And you?

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Wow, I haven’t even posted at all this year…..lol..

Just joking……I hope you all enjoyed and had a good time with your friends and families this past holiday season. I don’t celebrate because I’m a JW but I did enjoy my family being home and hanging out.

I haven’t posted in awhile because I’m lazy I simply haven’t been in the mood. After suffering from my surgery way back in April…… I’m still in PAIN!! Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwhhhhh (sorry for screaming)

It seems crazy to think I’m still in so much pain from this. (In case you missed it or forgot. I had a subcutaneous defibrillator “installed” orimplanted” with some crazy, stupid & ridiculous a new device that was supposed to be less invasive because the leads didn’t have to be implanted directly in my heart)

Ha!! The old procedure would have given me one scar. This scam so called new technology gave me 3 huge, ugly, painful scars. He also did something to my collarbone, it hurts sooooooooo bad! Have you ever broke a bone…? Remember the pain and sensitivity that comes with it in cold weather……ugh, yeah…..that’s how it feels.

I’m going to show you what I’ve been living with…..Forgive my mad face….and yes I have on makeup Lol!!

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They're red because they're angry...And... I have an even larger one on my left side/breast...

Maybe people will stop questioning if I’m lazy or not trying hard enough or something….ugh some times folks act like it’s all in my mind and I should just push through…..ahh….nah!!
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Why in the world would anybody want to live a life like this? As I’ve been writing this post it’s taking me over 3 day’s because I pretty much slept for 2 whole days. Please believe ya girl here hates it!! I want to be out in my ministry, shopping, seeing movies and hanging with the girls but I just can’t do it. I don’t have the energy and I get tired of explaining it to people.(Reminder: I have cardiomyopathy, heart failure, diabetes, sleep apnea and fibromyalgia) I’m not telling you for anyone to feel sorry for me, just a reminder that there are many illnesses you can’t see!! That’s why people always say “But you don’t look sick, you look good.”

Here’s my answer to that….hehe

I would look much worse than this w/o my beautiful makeup lol

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Anywhoooooo, I am going to keep fighting through the pain and get back to life. I’m going to eat better, gotta take baby steps walk a little and drink lots of detox water this week. If you or someone you know is on a journey to a healthier lifestyle please join me. What are you going to do this week?

I will keep you informed of my progresses!!

J.

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My new journey and adventures πŸ˜Š

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When I first started this blog it was to help me with my weight loss, and then gain, then loss and everything in the middle. LOL!! (Y’all know how it is…lol..don’t leave me on this roller-coaster alone!!)

Now I just want to share ME and all I go through…with my health, my emotions, my likes! my dislikes, my family, my faith and just me.

A day in the life of a diabetic……and what it’s like to live with heart failure. Also learning to live with this new defibrillator. (So far it’s been a nightmare….but I’ll bore you with those details later )πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚

One day I may post about makeup, or clothes. Next day I may share a recipe I found and loved….maybe post 2 or 40 a day…..😱😱😱 (j/k) or a few days later an update on my health….(yes you can tell I have issues LOL). Sooooooooooo if you want to come on this adventure/journey with me…Let’s Go!!!

Me sending out kisses πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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I can be so silly at times πŸ˜‚.

Silly me lol πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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My Ice Cube Mean Face look lol

NOTE: I write this as my personal journal but my only hope is that it can touch one person. If you know of anyone who’s going through ……well…..ummm…….LIFE. Please share this blog with them, or if you enjoy it. I thank whoever reads this, even if it’s one person 😍

Please follow & share…. Thanks guys!!

An update of me….

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Hey guys, it’s been another minute since I’ve posted anything. I’ve been thinking & praying about what I should do….so I decided to continue this journey with you. πŸ™‚

Well in the last three months that you haven’t heard from me, there’s been a lot going on. I got pneumonia TWICE, was on enough antibiotics to save a small country! They have again changed my medication (doubled it), and I had another echo.

Before I had the echo (they gave me 3 months) I was told if it’s not better they would recommend the defibrillator. So two days after my echo I get the call…it’s actually my doctor……… *Sigh***** Now I’ve been his patient for four years & he’s never called me so right away I knew.

Sooooo, long story short I’m getting the defibrillator installed, put in this Friday the 25th. I’m only suppose to stay one night so I should be home Saturday so you can send me cards, flowers & money 😊 if you want to visit me…….Ooh or you can send me lives on pet rescue lol, I’m addicted!! (Don’t judge me lol).

I’m sharing this so you can send the money, flowers, cards & lives with you for encouragement, prayer and love… I want everyone in my family to know I love them & that I’m not lazy …I’m just enduring each day…and I’m grateful to have each & everyone of you in my life.

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This is what heart failure looks like…….. Everybody (and I do mean Everybody, doctors & nurses) always say “you look too good to be sick”.

That’s because I’m beautiful dang it……sigh…..curse this beauty lol. Just kidding!! or am I, hmmmmmhahaha

Thanks for continuing on my journey with me!