Introducing a new chapter – The Fantastic Four

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It was my plan to start blogging again this year so I did all this research and bought all these courses to help me get started again….. I wanted to share my adventures in this world as a woman in her forties who loves makeup and fashion and how despite my health problems I still can keep it cute lol 😝. Unfortunately, looking cute has been the last thing on my mind. Being responsible for 4 new little ones has been extremely hard. I have 3 of my own kids that I’ve pretty much raised…….. my baby girl just turned 18 😫😫 on January 9th and she’s going to graduate in June and then I’m done right…..wrong! My new babies are 3, 5 (just turned 5 on the 21st) 6 and 9…… I know….. I know. Pray πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½ for me please.

My life has been turned upside down and I’m really going through it…..I really hate to complain but I seriously need to vent and just scream 😱 (well on paper anyway). Due to circumstances out of my control, I’ve recently been given temporary custody of my three nieces and nephew. I love these kids with all of my heart ❀️ but I’m so overwhelmed.

One of my biggest issues is that it’s a major change and challenge in my home. We went from a family of four (where everyone pretty much did their own thing every day and night) to a family of eight overnight…. it’s been crazy to say the least. Now we have homework, home cooked meals, I’m literally slaving over the stove for them, bath time and playing referee between everyone. I really have to depend on my family to help me out. Without their help there’s no way I could even try this. So big shoutout to Zariah and Zamia and my hubby ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️ I pray everyday for their sanity as well…even our dog has had to make some changes. (Not that he minds at all lol).

Anyway…….I’m still in heart failure (18yrs) and dealing with all my other health issues…… I know certain people always thought that I was sleeping a lot because I’m lazy but the reality is that I’m sick….. Congestive Heart Failure, Cardiomyopathy, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia and a few smaller ones….. (and it’s truly a blessing that I don’t look the way I feel, but then it’s deceiving because I’m always trying to be cute lol πŸ˜‚…… I mean, who wants to look sick??). The truth of the matter is that I’m very stressed out and it’s not good for my health but there’s nothing I can do…. my anxiety levels rise so high when I think about them going into foster care or being separated…..so that’s not even an option!! Family has to take care of family ❀️.

It is such a huge responsibility to raise someone else’s children…. especially when the children have special needs that you’ve never dealt with… My nephew (the 9yr old) has ADHD and man……..let me tell you…..that condition is no joke. He is on medication for it but the pills don’t last long and when they start to wear off his impulse control is null and void. He’s always getting into something and to say it’s nerve wracking is literally to say the least….smh. The girls are definitely much easier but they each have their own issues as well and let’s just keep it real…they’re toddlers and what do toddlers do? EVERYTHING πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ….they fight, argue, cry and throw tantrums… all the time. Oh yeah…..can’t forget this…they all eat like four big linebackers playing for the Denver Broncos πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Don’t get me wrong for the most part they are all great children with awesome personalities. Its just that when you have to deal with those new personalities 24/7 times four people it can be overwhelming. Although I must say to hear them say “I love you aunty” and give me big hugs and kisses…..those moments are priceless.

So in closing I guess I’m just reintroducing me and my family to you again……I’m going to be sharing my adventures with my new family and managing everything with my health. I hope my adventures can be encouraging and upbuilding for those who are reading my blog….please follow and share if you enjoyed this post.

Until next time…..

J.

οΏΌ

Kim Porter….May she Rest In Peace

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A beautiful mother of four beautiful children… My condolences to her family and friends and many loved ones. As a woman over 40 who deals with so many health issues her death really hits home for me…. we’ve all read that she had pneumonia for a few weeks and wasn’t getting any better and maybe just maybe if she had went back sooner she would still be here….no one knows for sure. πŸ˜”

No one has said exactly what she died from but I want to take this opportunity to remind all of us to be advocates for our health. If something doesn’t feel right please go get it checked out and make sure that you’re heard!! Especially as mothers….we make sure our babies are well taken care of but sometimes we forget about us….

(I am definitely not a model I just wanted to try to recreate a picture of this beautiful woman.)

Revelations 21:3;4 – With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: β€œLook! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. 4Β And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

A Big Breakup

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You guys know that I share a lot about myself to you ….so why should this be any different…. Sigh….. Breakups are just so hard…..

I’m so ashamed and embarrassed….. I hate to cheat, so it’s over!!
Meet my new boos…..(Disclaimer…this really is my emergency stash lol….shhhh don’t tell anybody! It’s Only on those days when I can’t commit a murder I really need it. Lol!!

I hope after you read this you smile and laugh…and then I want you to give yourself a big hug from me to you. I thank you for reading this!
With Lots of love & laughter,

(Please know this is all in fun 😜)

J
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A little bit about me….

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I’m a JW, married mother of three. My husband is my Breath, my life, my King, my soul, my heart ❀️. My three children are my actual heartbeats and complete me. JD-22, ZD-16, & my baby ZR-14. (I also have a nephew & two nieces who are my little baby heartbeatsπŸ’“) ….I’ve decided to take a break from my pity party and focus on my health and the love of my family.

Oh yeah I can’t forget my other “babies” Sophie is my spoiled little dog 🐢 and Rozay is my grand puppy who is extra spoiled too LOL!

I was doing good when I blogged about my health before so here we go….I tend to get into a depression rut, which leads to discouragement and then leads to chocolates…..and lots of them. (Shhh it’s our secret don’t tell my hubby about my stash lol 😜)

Thank you for coming with me on this personal journey. Thanks so much for your support.

J

What’s been up with me…..And you?

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Wow, I haven’t even posted at all this year…..lol..

Just joking……I hope you all enjoyed and had a good time with your friends and families this past holiday season. I don’t celebrate because I’m a JW but I did enjoy my family being home and hanging out.

I haven’t posted in awhile because I’m lazy I simply haven’t been in the mood. After suffering from my surgery way back in April…… I’m still in PAIN!! Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwhhhhh (sorry for screaming)

It seems crazy to think I’m still in so much pain from this. (In case you missed it or forgot. I had a subcutaneous defibrillator “installed” orimplanted” with some crazy, stupid & ridiculous a new device that was supposed to be less invasive because the leads didn’t have to be implanted directly in my heart)

Ha!! The old procedure would have given me one scar. This scam so called new technology gave me 3 huge, ugly, painful scars. He also did something to my collarbone, it hurts sooooooooo bad! Have you ever broke a bone…? Remember the pain and sensitivity that comes with it in cold weather……ugh, yeah…..that’s how it feels.

I’m going to show you what I’ve been living with…..Forgive my mad face….and yes I have on makeup Lol!!

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They're red because they're angry...And... I have an even larger one on my left side/breast...

Maybe people will stop questioning if I’m lazy or not trying hard enough or something….ugh some times folks act like it’s all in my mind and I should just push through…..ahh….nah!!
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Why in the world would anybody want to live a life like this? As I’ve been writing this post it’s taking me over 3 day’s because I pretty much slept for 2 whole days. Please believe ya girl here hates it!! I want to be out in my ministry, shopping, seeing movies and hanging with the girls but I just can’t do it. I don’t have the energy and I get tired of explaining it to people.(Reminder: I have cardiomyopathy, heart failure, diabetes, sleep apnea and fibromyalgia) I’m not telling you for anyone to feel sorry for me, just a reminder that there are many illnesses you can’t see!! That’s why people always say “But you don’t look sick, you look good.”

Here’s my answer to that….hehe

I would look much worse than this w/o my beautiful makeup lol

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Anywhoooooo, I am going to keep fighting through the pain and get back to life. I’m going to eat better, gotta take baby steps walk a little and drink lots of detox water this week. If you or someone you know is on a journey to a healthier lifestyle please join me. What are you going to do this week?

I will keep you informed of my progresses!!

J.

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My new journey and adventures πŸ˜Š

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When I first started this blog it was to help me with my weight loss, and then gain, then loss and everything in the middle. LOL!! (Y’all know how it is…lol..don’t leave me on this roller-coaster alone!!)

Now I just want to share ME and all I go through…with my health, my emotions, my likes! my dislikes, my family, my faith and just me.

A day in the life of a diabetic……and what it’s like to live with heart failure. Also learning to live with this new defibrillator. (So far it’s been a nightmare….but I’ll bore you with those details later )πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚

One day I may post about makeup, or clothes. Next day I may share a recipe I found and loved….maybe post 2 or 40 a day…..😱😱😱 (j/k) or a few days later an update on my health….(yes you can tell I have issues LOL). Sooooooooooo if you want to come on this adventure/journey with me…Let’s Go!!!

Me sending out kisses πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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I can be so silly at times πŸ˜‚.

Silly me lol πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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My Ice Cube Mean Face look lol

NOTE: I write this as my personal journal but my only hope is that it can touch one person. If you know of anyone who’s going through ……well…..ummm…….LIFE. Please share this blog with them, or if you enjoy it. I thank whoever reads this, even if it’s one person 😍

Please follow & share…. Thanks guys!!

Dear J…..age 18

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Dear J,

I wanted to first tell you how much I love you….you really are a good person. At this age in your life you have made some mistakes…but don’t allow the mistakes to keep you sad and break your spirits…. Learn from your mistakes and do better…

One day you will be a mother and a wife and have 3 beautiful children. Cherish every second of them because one day…too soon, they will grow up. Hug them and play with them as much as possible. Always tell them (and show them) how much you love them….tell them everyday.

Please take care of your health, it seems like you don’t have anything to worry about now because your young and healthy……trust me, it will change. Keep exercising, stop eating so much junk food, try to cook at home and experiment. Taste new foods, explore wine and different cuisine.

Please, please, please listen to your dad when he try’s to teach you about money….having a savings account, and a rainy day account, a I don’t have to ask daddy for money account. 😜 and monitoring your credit score is sooo very vital!! If you don’t have cash, it’s simple……you can’t afford it!!! πŸ’°πŸ’³πŸ’Έ

As for a relationship with a man, be very, extra careful with your heart. You have a beautiful heart and spirit, make sure he has one too. You have a tendency to like beautiful things on the outside but find the insides are empty and everything is dirty, broke, old and rotten.don’t match the face, it’s only a mask…… If he doesn’t show you love and respect…..he’s NOT the one. Don’t worry the right one is just around the corner….πŸ’•πŸ’•

In summary J, be a good woman, a good friend and prepare to become a great wife and and a mother…..

I love you J,

Sincerely, J