Another 2lbs lost~whoo hooo!! Another big lesson

First can I just say how overwhelmed I am from all of the support, comments and messages you have all sent me!!! They mean the world to me and they really help me to keep fighting the food fight!! πŸ™‚

Soooo…back to business (in my Beyonce voice)! Lol, I went to see my doc today and party rocking in the house…I’m down another 2 pounds!! I didn’t even think I had lost any weight since I was cheating on myself…But I was proved wrong. Not only have I lost a total of 9 pounds (almost to my first 10!!!) but I’ve actually gained muscle mass!! Look out y’all I’m about to be in a bikini..Sike!! But I am looking for a new dress in my new size I want to be!! And of course I’ll need new stilettos, and some matching accessories and shoot how about a new bag!! Oh yeah!! (Hint hint hubby!!) πŸ˜‰

So today I was talking to my “dirty little secret” (she knows who she is) and I was telling her how Dr. Tran really encouraged me to stop being so hard on myself when I eat real food or fall short of my expectations. She quickly told me..”like when you were going to your appointment and you said, ‘I know I didn’t lose any weight this week’…I was flabbergasted!! I didn’t even recognize that I was downing myself just seconds before walking in the clinic! I thought to myself, what the heck girl you need to get it together…

I realize we can actually be our own “bad association”… We need to make sure we are surrounding ourselves with only positive motivating people and that includes the woman/man inside…

Pretty deep huh…just thinking about it can depress you but I don’t want you or me to feel depressed…I want us to all look in the mirror and decide that person looking back is imperfect and going to have some uphill battles but we are worthy, beautiful, handsome, sexy, gorgeous and any other adjective we can think of and we are all on our way to our goals! No matter how big or small! 1 pound to 1,000 pounds!!!!

So in closing, since I seem to have Beyonce stuck in my head…Who runs the world___? (Insert your name here)!!

J

(On yeah I made a goal to only eat my optifast products and not cheat on me…what’s your goal for the week)

Advertisements

Week four…and still struggling (long but good)

To any of you who actually read my blog I apologize for not posting anything yesterday I thought, well even God took the seventh day off πŸ™‚ j/k

Anyway…I’ve not been doing so good this weekend..when you have any addiction (drugs, alcohol, food) once you get a taste of it, it’s extremely hard to get the taste out. As I shared with you on Saturday night I ate animal and a cookie (for shame I didn’t reveal that). Well yesterday as always I started out good with shakes, but then when we had friends over to watch the game (side note: whoo hooo Denver Broncos!!) and I ordered pizza and wings and a friend bought cookies and cake. Ugh!!!! Why oh why….she also bought some fried green beans. (Green Beans are ok right?? Yeah I know I know not if they are deep fried lol) but I only ate four, to which everyone’s reply was that’s not enough food for you. Again I told them I have my shakes from optifast for my weight loss. Well long story short (I know it really…doesn’t sound like it haha) I end up eating 3 bites of pizza (yucky cheese) and I had 2 cookies. Sigh*********** I know, no will power.

So anyway I’m not feeling the best today so I decided to actually do my lesson for the week…Building Confidence. This hit me in a really big way…they give you 10 ways to build self confidence so I went through each one and I was slapped in the face….it’s like someone has been peeking in my windows to see what I’m doing and then wrote about it!! (Sounds familiar huh Ebony lol)

1. Fulfill your needs:

it brings out how only I can make myself happy and no one else. It also said to quit trying to solve other people’s problems, making them happy, or saving them from the consequences of their behavior.

I have to be honest…this is one of my biggest issues. I have a huge heart and I want to make everything ok for those I love, but I’m so focused on the others that I forget to help me… That’s why I have been having “cheats” everywhere. Carrying around guilt for not being able to undue someone else’s mistake.

2. (Actually its their number 5 but I can’t give you all of them)lol. Stop fighting change:

you’ll need to be willing to give up things the way they are in order to have them the way they can be. Learn to live with change and enjoy it

Again, another area I struggle with…I’m use to going out to eat with my family…going to the movies and having a giant bag of popcorn (w/o butter of course) and now it seems like because I can’t eat, we just don’t go and I miss that with them.

3. (Their number 6…. U know the rest) Keep company with positive people:

Negative people sap your energy and creativity with their constant put downs, complaints, self defeating thoughts, feelings and actions. Seek out positive people.

This one is self explaining… I don’t even think people realize how their negativity hurts me…just saying things like “what a waste of money” or “your just going to gain the weight back”. It’s hard but I’m working on staying away from that!

So in summary I see where I need to put my thinking hat at…I need to know its ok for me to be happy and the only person who can really do it is me (and my hubby) :). It’s ok if I go out to dinner with my family and only have a small cup of soup or green salad…it’s the company that’s fulfilling….and last but definitely not least…if your not a supporter of me, then your against me and I have the right to say Heck No!! Because I truly deserve more than that… We all do! So when you see someone trying to get up and change, please don’t kick them down and tell them they can’t do it, because we ALL can change!! I don’t care if you need to lose 1 or 1,000 pounds..we can do it!!

So, now that I got that off my chest I must say I feel better and I’m looking forward to learning and growing through this wonderful journey and I thank those of you who are going with me.

J

Dealing with stress and not eating a sundae!

There’s a quote I read the other day and I loved it….it said..

Don’t reward yourself with a treat, you are not a dog /

Do you find yourself doing this? I realize I was actually doing it even with my kids. For example if they did good on their homework, if you have a good day, a bad day, an emotional day….a blah blah blah blah day….. so you get my point?? so what would i say, “ok let’s go have ice cream” Hurray!!! Lol …I remember back in the day it seemed like there was absolutely nothing that a peanut buster parfait wouldn’t fix lol!! Well the great thing about that is that I’m vegan and don’t even like to think about eating ice cream but I have to work on not eating the fries too. Another great thing I learned today was my very first thought after dealing with the stress….”man I need to hit the treadmill” sigh…I do believe there is hope for me after all!! πŸ™‚

There is hope for all of us if we quit rewarding behaviors with food. I just want to share a few little items I bought myself for my “treat” πŸ™‚ it’s 2 scented candles, a key chain, and a hand sanitizer holder & bottle…how cute!! And I spent maybe one or two dollars over the price of I’ve cream.

So next time you need a “treat” buy yourself a scented candle, or a cute key chain…anything besides food because guess what…you will have them a lot longer than a treat… and what a nice reminder to have and look at and say “oh yeah, i can do this”.

I hope I helped one person who reads this to know we are not animals and should not treat our bodies as such..

J

20121026-213530.jpg

20121026-213620.jpg

20121026-213735.jpg

A pretty bad night :(

Soo yesterday all day I had a terrible headache. My doctor told me with the optifast program you urinate a lot & my body was probably craving the sodium I was getting rid of. Well after I started this beautiful blog last night my head was killing me again…she told me to sip on chicken broth but I was to lazy to get up and walk downstairs…sad, I know. So instead I decided to eat some baked lays potato chips. I know your probably like WHY?? (So am I this morning with a tummy ache)

Well I realized yet again that 1. I’m lazy. 2 I’m an emotional eater..I was in pain and I found relief in a bag of chips. The truly sad thing is that I just went through this last week AND I had just had a great weigh in yesterday. I officially went from “obese” to “overweight”!!! Yeah me right…wrong, it just took a little pain for me to forget that and the 7 pounds I dropped in 3 weeks. Sigh…but it’s going to be okay.

I’ve decided not to be to hard on myself but to remember how I’m feeling (sick) and try my hardest not to do it again… So this morning I’ve already had my breakfast shake and a cup of oolong tea, now I’m on my way back to the kitchen to get my broth so I can get some sodium in my body the right way…I’ll let you know how it goes later.

J