Week four…and still struggling (long but good)

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To any of you who actually read my blog I apologize for not posting anything yesterday I thought, well even God took the seventh day off πŸ™‚ j/k

Anyway…I’ve not been doing so good this weekend..when you have any addiction (drugs, alcohol, food) once you get a taste of it, it’s extremely hard to get the taste out. As I shared with you on Saturday night I ate animal and a cookie (for shame I didn’t reveal that). Well yesterday as always I started out good with shakes, but then when we had friends over to watch the game (side note: whoo hooo Denver Broncos!!) and I ordered pizza and wings and a friend bought cookies and cake. Ugh!!!! Why oh why….she also bought some fried green beans. (Green Beans are ok right?? Yeah I know I know not if they are deep fried lol) but I only ate four, to which everyone’s reply was that’s not enough food for you. Again I told them I have my shakes from optifast for my weight loss. Well long story short (I know it really…doesn’t sound like it haha) I end up eating 3 bites of pizza (yucky cheese) and I had 2 cookies. Sigh*********** I know, no will power.

So anyway I’m not feeling the best today so I decided to actually do my lesson for the week…Building Confidence. This hit me in a really big way…they give you 10 ways to build self confidence so I went through each one and I was slapped in the face….it’s like someone has been peeking in my windows to see what I’m doing and then wrote about it!! (Sounds familiar huh Ebony lol)

1. Fulfill your needs:

it brings out how only I can make myself happy and no one else. It also said to quit trying to solve other people’s problems, making them happy, or saving them from the consequences of their behavior.

I have to be honest…this is one of my biggest issues. I have a huge heart and I want to make everything ok for those I love, but I’m so focused on the others that I forget to help me… That’s why I have been having “cheats” everywhere. Carrying around guilt for not being able to undue someone else’s mistake.

2. (Actually its their number 5 but I can’t give you all of them)lol. Stop fighting change:

you’ll need to be willing to give up things the way they are in order to have them the way they can be. Learn to live with change and enjoy it

Again, another area I struggle with…I’m use to going out to eat with my family…going to the movies and having a giant bag of popcorn (w/o butter of course) and now it seems like because I can’t eat, we just don’t go and I miss that with them.

3. (Their number 6…. U know the rest) Keep company with positive people:

Negative people sap your energy and creativity with their constant put downs, complaints, self defeating thoughts, feelings and actions. Seek out positive people.

This one is self explaining… I don’t even think people realize how their negativity hurts me…just saying things like “what a waste of money” or “your just going to gain the weight back”. It’s hard but I’m working on staying away from that!

So in summary I see where I need to put my thinking hat at…I need to know its ok for me to be happy and the only person who can really do it is me (and my hubby) :). It’s ok if I go out to dinner with my family and only have a small cup of soup or green salad…it’s the company that’s fulfilling….and last but definitely not least…if your not a supporter of me, then your against me and I have the right to say Heck No!! Because I truly deserve more than that… We all do! So when you see someone trying to get up and change, please don’t kick them down and tell them they can’t do it, because we ALL can change!! I don’t care if you need to lose 1 or 1,000 pounds..we can do it!!

So, now that I got that off my chest I must say I feel better and I’m looking forward to learning and growing through this wonderful journey and I thank those of you who are going with me.


Big lesson learned on a Saturday night…

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Sooooo let me start by saying I’m so sorry to my followers and myself. 😦 I made a rookie dumb mistake tonight and hopefully I won’t have to pay for it on the scales Tuesday.

I went to a gathering to tell some dear friends goodbye as they are moving to California and this was their farewell party…I ate 4 of my products today before the gathering so I thought I would be ok…NOT!! Ok, the first thing is I’m a vegan and really don’t like to eat any type of animal product (those who are close to me can tell ya)…so when I saw there was some type of enchiladas I chuckled to myself & thought “whew they thought they was gonna get me.” Now I can’t tell you who the heck “they” is, but I thought I had won. Well I guess we had been there for about 2 hours and out of NO where (seriously freaky) I started smelling those enchiladas and I felt like Bruce from finding nemo!! Remember they were having their little “fish our are friends meeting” & then Dory’s nose bled and he smelled it and the other sharks tried to stop him and he said.. I’m Having Fish Tonight!!! Well that was me….I guess I just let myself get to hungry because all of a sudden I was having them enchiladas..with the cheese and meat!

Ugh!!! Ok just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt and actually after 3 bites I was done…but the fact that I would even allow myself to make a plate of it is very saddening to me. I’m working hard to get healthy and I can’t believe that I let myself down…so I decided to “work it off” while I was there..in 4 inch wedge heels.. Yeah I learned how to Wobble, and Cupid shuffle and whip my hair back and forth, all the time in my shoes!! That has to burn extra calories…right?? πŸ™‚ just nod your head and agree with me please lol and thank you.

All in all I did have fun and I didn’t get too down on myself about my choices (except eating animal yuck) I realize there will be other Saturday nights where temptation will likely be, but if I plan accordingly I will be fine and so will you guys.

So for those of us on our weight loss journey this is what we need to do.
1. Plan ahead, one friend actually bought her own food to the function…and drink lots of water.
2. If you do eat something eat small portions and if possible eat a salad before your meal.
3. And this is a big one…if your not able to say no to the food right now, decline the invite. It’s ok If your going through a lot & your trying to watch what you eat & the temptation would be too much.

Remember how many minutes you have to walk/run on that treadmill just to burn 100 calories, and then think how in less than 60 seconds you can eat a candy bar, drink a pop, an grab a cookie. Those calories can total 500+. So it’s not worth it if you can’t control your portions and what your putting in your mouth.

So tonight I would like to leave you with a picture of my poor feet in them shoes lol!!!!(oh yeah another big lesson..don’t wear heels when your going to be on ya feet for 5hours!! Lol

Hope this helps at least one person to know..your not alone.




Dealing with stress and not eating a sundae!

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There’s a quote I read the other day and I loved it….it said..

Don’t reward yourself with a treat, you are not a dog /

Do you find yourself doing this? I realize I was actually doing it even with my kids. For example if they did good on their homework, if you have a good day, a bad day, an emotional day….a blah blah blah blah day….. so you get my point?? so what would i say, “ok let’s go have ice cream” Hurray!!! Lol …I remember back in the day it seemed like there was absolutely nothing that a peanut buster parfait wouldn’t fix lol!! Well the great thing about that is that I’m vegan and don’t even like to think about eating ice cream but I have to work on not eating the fries too. Another great thing I learned today was my very first thought after dealing with the stress….”man I need to hit the treadmill” sigh…I do believe there is hope for me after all!! πŸ™‚

There is hope for all of us if we quit rewarding behaviors with food. I just want to share a few little items I bought myself for my “treat” πŸ™‚ it’s 2 scented candles, a key chain, and a hand sanitizer holder & bottle…how cute!! And I spent maybe one or two dollars over the price of I’ve cream.

So next time you need a “treat” buy yourself a scented candle, or a cute key chain…anything besides food because guess what…you will have them a lot longer than a treat… and what a nice reminder to have and look at and say “oh yeah, i can do this”.

I hope I helped one person who reads this to know we are not animals and should not treat our bodies as such..





What is OptiFast

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So as promised I would like to share what Optifast is…it’s a 26week program that uses meal replacement shakes, soups and bars. It’s done at a clinic and your always supervised by a physician (mine is Dr. Angela Tran and she is an amazing doctor, she was actually my primary care doc for years before she opened her weight loss clinic.) You have a trainer (mines name is Rachel and she’s the bomb.com as Tamar Braxton would say lol) and nutritionist (Rachel again) and a medical assistant (mines is Breandra..hmm I don’t think I spelled that right) anyway she’s amazing as well.

So everyday I get 5 products to have, this is my third week on the program and I’ve learned I’m not big on the soups or ready to make shakes, I prefer the ready to drink shakes and the bars..I have an exercise program that Rachel set up for me that I follow daily. (Well not today or yesterday but don’t tell her..lol) I also drink tons of water, sometimes I feel like I live in the bathroom πŸ™‚

The reason I picked this program is you can lose weight quickly with the products but after that they teach you how to transition to eat real food…also every week you receive counseling..mine is with Dr. Tran and she is soooo supportive, I don’t even have to wait for the next week I can call, text or email her and she is right there to help me work through it.

For example last week I was home and bored and decided I was stressed and needed to eat something good….you know how it is you feed your body that drug (food) that helps you get through it…well I sent her a text telling her how I was feeling and she called me right back and we talked and got to the bottom of what I was really feeling which was boredom. So instead I made myself a cup of tea and got up and started doing things. It truly helped!!

You also receive a binder with tons of great information like, body image, eating style, building support and a lot more if anyone is interested I can write them all down and share it with you.

I hope no one thinks I’m trying to sell them optifast, I’m just sharing with everyone what I chose and what has worked for me. I will include links so you can check them out.