Introducing a new chapter – The Fantastic Four

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It was my plan to start blogging again this year so I did all this research and bought all these courses to help me get started again….. I wanted to share my adventures in this world as a woman in her forties who loves makeup and fashion and how despite my health problems I still can keep it cute lol 😝. Unfortunately, looking cute has been the last thing on my mind. Being responsible for 4 new little ones has been extremely hard. I have 3 of my own kids that I’ve pretty much raised…….. my baby girl just turned 18 😫😫 on January 9th and she’s going to graduate in June and then I’m done right…..wrong! My new babies are 3, 5 (just turned 5 on the 21st) 6 and 9…… I know….. I know. Pray πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½ for me please.

My life has been turned upside down and I’m really going through it…..I really hate to complain but I seriously need to vent and just scream 😱 (well on paper anyway). Due to circumstances out of my control, I’ve recently been given temporary custody of my three nieces and nephew. I love these kids with all of my heart ❀️ but I’m so overwhelmed.

One of my biggest issues is that it’s a major change and challenge in my home. We went from a family of four (where everyone pretty much did their own thing every day and night) to a family of eight overnight…. it’s been crazy to say the least. Now we have homework, home cooked meals, I’m literally slaving over the stove for them, bath time and playing referee between everyone. I really have to depend on my family to help me out. Without their help there’s no way I could even try this. So big shoutout to Zariah and Zamia and my hubby ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️ I pray everyday for their sanity as well…even our dog has had to make some changes. (Not that he minds at all lol).

Anyway…….I’m still in heart failure (18yrs) and dealing with all my other health issues…… I know certain people always thought that I was sleeping a lot because I’m lazy but the reality is that I’m sick….. Congestive Heart Failure, Cardiomyopathy, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia and a few smaller ones….. (and it’s truly a blessing that I don’t look the way I feel, but then it’s deceiving because I’m always trying to be cute lol πŸ˜‚…… I mean, who wants to look sick??). The truth of the matter is that I’m very stressed out and it’s not good for my health but there’s nothing I can do…. my anxiety levels rise so high when I think about them going into foster care or being separated…..so that’s not even an option!! Family has to take care of family ❀️.

It is such a huge responsibility to raise someone else’s children…. especially when the children have special needs that you’ve never dealt with… My nephew (the 9yr old) has ADHD and man……..let me tell you…..that condition is no joke. He is on medication for it but the pills don’t last long and when they start to wear off his impulse control is null and void. He’s always getting into something and to say it’s nerve wracking is literally to say the least….smh. The girls are definitely much easier but they each have their own issues as well and let’s just keep it real…they’re toddlers and what do toddlers do? EVERYTHING πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ….they fight, argue, cry and throw tantrums… all the time. Oh yeah…..can’t forget this…they all eat like four big linebackers playing for the Denver Broncos πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Don’t get me wrong for the most part they are all great children with awesome personalities. Its just that when you have to deal with those new personalities 24/7 times four people it can be overwhelming. Although I must say to hear them say “I love you aunty” and give me big hugs and kisses…..those moments are priceless.

So in closing I guess I’m just reintroducing me and my family to you again……I’m going to be sharing my adventures with my new family and managing everything with my health. I hope my adventures can be encouraging and upbuilding for those who are reading my blog….please follow and share if you enjoyed this post.

Until next time…..

J.

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Kim Porter….May she Rest In Peace

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A beautiful mother of four beautiful children… My condolences to her family and friends and many loved ones. As a woman over 40 who deals with so many health issues her death really hits home for me…. we’ve all read that she had pneumonia for a few weeks and wasn’t getting any better and maybe just maybe if she had went back sooner she would still be here….no one knows for sure. πŸ˜”

No one has said exactly what she died from but I want to take this opportunity to remind all of us to be advocates for our health. If something doesn’t feel right please go get it checked out and make sure that you’re heard!! Especially as mothers….we make sure our babies are well taken care of but sometimes we forget about us….

(I am definitely not a model I just wanted to try to recreate a picture of this beautiful woman.)

Revelations 21:3;4 – With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: β€œLook! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. 4Β And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

A little humor

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I’m not sure if I told you all how I’ve been feeling for a few weeks now….well on a Facebook page I found this picture and it says everything that I’m feeling :).

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Lol….having shared that with you all I can say is that I have not met any of my exercise goals this week…but hopefully, I can get back on track. Changed my meds so hopefully I can sleep again at night….we all know how important it is to get a good nights sleep to help us all out..helps with stress, over eating, and chronic fatigue.

Soooooo tonight I’m praying for that blissful sleep to help me endure all of these aches & pains. Good day/night to you all. πŸ™‚

J

A way back to happiness

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After the tragedy in Newton last week I fell into a depression….it was such a sad tragedy and I felt so completely helpless and my heart literally ached for those families. After much prayer I can say I’m feeling better…

Unfortunately, I kind of went back to some bad ways and looked for comfort in food. Of course I didn’t find any in it and it actually made me feel worse. Stomach cramps, bloating, gas and nausea..ugh so not worth it!! My fibromyalgia was inflamed and I was in pain, unable to sleep and irritable.

So one night morning at 3am I began to write in my journal and I just kept writing and writing and then I said a prayer…then I was able to fall asleep and reflect.

Food does not comfort me, GOD does!! I’m a very spiritual woman and I draw my strength from the bible….a beautiful letter written to me by my Father, and it hits me…the bible says not to “over eat, or be overly anxious”. Which is exactly what I’ve always done….sadly. 😦

So the last few days I’ve been drawing my strength and determination from the bible…and I’ve been able to get back to eating right….the kids are on their winter break so lots of temptation everywhere but all I’ve had besides my optifast is fruit & popcorn(my kryptonite lol).

We went to the mall yesterday and I went into a regular skinny women’s shop and I tried on some jeans….and they fit πŸ™‚ I actually had to have a moment dropped it like it was hot!!! Lol in the dressing room….a size 12!!!

Oh yeah I’m on my way…..where? Back to happiness!

J

2 steps forward, 5 steps back

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It’s been a long time since I’ve been motivated to blog 😦 . It’s all because I fell far off the wagon!! It’s almost like I’m afraid of success! Last week was my best weight loss week and then I let life consume me….I once again forgot to take care of me!

I don’t celebrate holidays so I can’t even blame that…it was just being home with the hubby & the kids….then my sister went into labor and I was up all night, (seems like for 2 nights) and that really threw me off my game. Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon having a new little niece but I’m exhausted!!

No exercise in the last week, no sleep and eating junk…ugh!! So now it’s time to face the music, I have my appointment tomorrow & I know it’s not going to be good…

I did it to myself but I’m holding me accountable sooooooooo here’s too getting back on track!! Also, here’s a picture of my new niece…a beautiful blessing!!! πŸ™‚

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