Just wanted to share a picture with you guys…it’s been a minute since I’ve posted so I wanted to share this with you…I still have about 30 more pounds to go, but I’m going to just celebrate this new body and not complain or expect more right now…
I just entered a make up contest and this is one of my pictures I took…can’t believe it’s the same dress as the bottom picture 🙂 I’m very proud of myself and I hope this will inspire others!!
I’ve loved you for so long….we have this terrible love/hate relationship and I can’t do it anymore… I wrote you a letter a few weeks back but somehow I let you wine & dine me back into this terrible relationship. You beat me, you kick me, you mock me and you make me hate myself at times…this relationship has to end now!!! I just can’t do it anymore!! I do know that if I stay in this relationship one day you ARE going to kill me, and I have too much to live for..
This relationship is a typical example of domestic violence…..the sad thing about it…it’s with food.
(I actually wrote this last week but didn’t post it…thought I’d share, maybe it will encourage someone else too…please know I’m in no way joking about domestic violence! Me and my doctor talked about this vicious cycle that people with eating problems go through & she likened it to an abusive boyfriend and that’s when I wrote this….)
Can you relate?
I’m not sure if I told you all how I’ve been feeling for a few weeks now….well on a Facebook page I found this picture and it says everything that I’m feeling :).
Lol….having shared that with you all I can say is that I have not met any of my exercise goals this week…but hopefully, I can get back on track. Changed my meds so hopefully I can sleep again at night….we all know how important it is to get a good nights sleep to help us all out..helps with stress, over eating, and chronic fatigue.
Soooooo tonight I’m praying for that blissful sleep to help me endure all of these aches & pains. Good day/night to you all. 🙂
After the tragedy in Newton last week I fell into a depression….it was such a sad tragedy and I felt so completely helpless and my heart literally ached for those families. After much prayer I can say I’m feeling better…
Unfortunately, I kind of went back to some bad ways and looked for comfort in food. Of course I didn’t find any in it and it actually made me feel worse. Stomach cramps, bloating, gas and nausea..ugh so not worth it!! My fibromyalgia was inflamed and I was in pain, unable to sleep and irritable.
So one night
morning at 3am I began to write in my journal and I just kept writing and writing and then I said a prayer…then I was able to fall asleep and reflect.
Food does not comfort me, GOD does!! I’m a very spiritual woman and I draw my strength from the bible….a beautiful letter written to me by my Father, and it hits me…the bible says not to “over eat, or be overly anxious”. Which is exactly what I’ve always done….sadly. 😦
So the last few days I’ve been drawing my strength and determination from the bible…and I’ve been able to get back to eating right….the kids are on their winter break so lots of temptation everywhere but all I’ve had besides my optifast is fruit & popcorn(my kryptonite lol).
We went to the mall yesterday and I went into a regular
skinny women’s shop and I tried on some jeans….and they fit 🙂 I actually had to have a moment dropped it like it was hot!!! Lol in the dressing room….a size 12!!!
Oh yeah I’m on my way…..where? Back to happiness!
This isn’t a post today about weight, it’s about the tragedy that happened today in an elementary school where more than 20 people lost their lives today…
I’m praying for everyone who has been affected by this needless crime!! I don’t know how a 20 year old could kill his parents and then children….why, why, why???
So senseless and violent! So for anyone in the cyber world who reads this, please be loving and forgiving to one another…if someone cuts you off driving…it’s ok, if someone steps on your shoes….it’s ok, children if your parents say no to something you really, really want…it’s ok, parents if your having a hard time paying the bills…it’s ok.
Whatever we are going through…it’s ok…our lives do have value so never feel like its ok to take a life…even if its your own…IT WILL BE OK!!!
I live in Colorado and we have had some of the most senseless crimes; Columbine, and the aurora movie shootings and others…and I ask myself why!? Then I realize…..these really are the last days….
My prayers are with mankind!
(Edit: I include the families in china as well and any other countries!!)
I know I’ve posted about optifast before but I have to tell you guys just how much I love it!! It’s soooo convenient and it works!! (And just so everyone knows I don’t get paid to or compensated through optifast or anyone else, this is just my opinion).
I’ve now been on the program for 9 weeks and I look and feel better than I have for years!! I’m not just losing weight, I’m gaining me back. I guess we never know just how bad something was until you learn something good.
I’ve always had good self esteem but now it’s great!! I can fit into my clothes, walk a flight of stairs and not get winded, stay up all day without a nap and have a piece of mind!
Another big reason I love optifast is the support you get…my doctor and her staff are incredible! You really receive personal attention and support! (If your in Colorado check them out..you won’t regret it!!!) Dr. Angela Tran
I was also wondering why optifast doesn’t advertise like Jenny Craig or weight watchers and then I realized…they don’t have to. The people and the products speak for themselves!!
I still have plenty of time left to be on it and I’m looking forward to it…at first it was sooo hard and I didn’t think I could do it, but as I watch my body fat, blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure and weight go down I know I can do it…I mean dang I’m already off insulin and that was in the first month!
So I’m actually writing this for me…so when those days come around where it seems like everything is going wrong and I want to give up…I can look back at this blog and remember how good I felt.
Just me being silly lol..
Tonight I volunteered at my girls school….can you guess what I did?? The freaking bake sale lol!! I think I did pretty good in sales for them..I did eat 2 peanut butter cookies and guess what..I didn’t feel bad. Sometimes you have to give in to a craving….everyone who knows me knows just how much I love peanut butter cookies 🙂 so just eating 2 was good for me.
As a matter of fact that was great for me considering the day I had…but anyway I sat next to a beautiful grandmother who is 70 years old and going to college!! She was so sweet & funny…she asks me what my iPad is and then tells me she has a smart phone & no idea how to use it lol! She just lost a child and was there to support her grand children…it was such a pleasure to meet her and talk to her.
She really helped me to see that we can do whatever we put our minds too…I mean dang, here she is at 70, working & going to school & taking care of family… She really helped me to put things in perspective. I was considering stopping my weight loss program because I keep having these “cravings” and I started to feel like what’s the point…but I know I was just trying to punk out (as the kids would say lol).
I go to the clinic tomorrow and for once I’m not nervous about the scale or the two cookies…I’m going to continue on this journey and be successful!! I thank those who sent me such up building messages & my 2 friends who actually listed their animal 🙂 I am going to keep my head up and keep doing me…no more worrying about the fun suckers!!
(I included a picture of my new friend because she inspired me soo!)