Survived a stressful week…and no cake!

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I’ve been dealing with a lot of issues lately and really haven’t had much to say…..well nothing really positive. Then it hit me! I had a baby shower for my sister here at my home and I didn’t eat any cake!! 🙂

I did nibble here and there on carrots and olives & a tiny piece of a sandwich, but I didn’t eat the junk!! I realize I need to celebrate all of my accomplishments even if they seem small at the time. I’ve been dealing with an enormous amount of stress the last week and I’ve held my own!! As I’ve told you before ice cream was my comforter but I’m actually learning how to cope with the stress without food.

How have I done it….PRAYER, first and foremost!!!! Then I really leaned on my support system, went for walks and kept my mind occupied. It also helped that I didn’t have any junk food in the house and with my car still in the shop, I couldn’t just go get something.

So lessons learned….

1. Pray about your struggles and have faith that you can over come your food addictions…
2. I can get through trials without food..
3. Don’t keep junk food in the house….
4. Definitely have some support & reach out to them!
5. Celebrate me….why, because I love me no matter how much I weigh.

J

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It never stops…..

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So I guess I was doing to good or something because I had the worst day yesterday. I won’t bore you with all the details but the highlight or actually lowlight was when me and my daughter got stranded by McDonald’s…ugh of all places!!

We went to our meeting last night (hubby & other daughter were sick) and on the way home I stopped to grab them something to eat…it was about 10pm and I had a bar in my bag (no more getting caught w/o my optifast) so I ate that and I was ok. Then my car breaks down and it’s cold, my daughters legs are freezing so I give her my sweater to keep warm…hubby comes tries to get it home and I couldn’t turn the wheel or use the break..it was all beyond STrESSFUL!!!!

To top it off my stomach was hurting soooo bad (thx oolong tea) and I had to go to the bathroom and it was just UGH!!!! So I did eat a few fries while I was waiting but they were so gross!! Now I’m dealing with the stress and drama still and I want something salty and crunchy sooo bad! Good thing (I guess!)The car is broke and I don’t have anything here I want, or I would have probably went somewhere and ate something bad.

So as I sit here and type this I’m praying for strength to endure….just wanted to share.

J

First 10lbs down!!!

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So yesterday was my weigh in day and I’ve officially past the 10lbs mark…actually, I’ve lost 11 whoooo hooooo!! (From my heaviest weight I’m actually down 25, but lost the 11 in a month on Optifast & exercise). I can’t tell you how good it feels to step on that scale and see it go down, it’s so encouraging to see how my hard work is paying off… So having said that I’ve decided to show some of my before pictures and my now pictures….sigh, this is very hard for me to see and to show, but maybe it will encourage others…please be kind 🙂

Also the pictures are actually 25lbs ago, and ugh. Lol

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The first 2 are my before and the last 2 I just took..I tried to wear the same dress to show my weight loss…you can at least see it in my face, I hope lol 🙂 and yes I know I look tired.

(Sorry cousin I couldn’t cut you out of the picture.)

Got some news about my Diabetes

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Hello all I got some great news today…I don’t need to be on insulin anymore!!!! Whoo hoooo…me and my wonderful nurse practically did the happy dance over the phone! As I told you guys I had actually forgotten about my diabetes I wasn’t kidding…I haven’t even checked my blood or did my insulin in over 2 months….I decided I was going to change my attitude about food.

One thing that really helped me was the fact that I became a vegan 8 months ago but I was still eating poorly as a vegan..too many carbs!! I did lose 14 pounds on my own before I joined Med Fit, but I realized (and talked to my doctor about it) if I could get the weight off quick that would really help my diabetes.

I just want to let anyone know if your dealing with your weight or diabetes, you can get through this…it’s like one of my favorite passages:

And this too, shall pass

You have to decide for yourself to put you first…it’s ok. As parents we always want to take care of our kids first or our spouse, maybe even our parents…but now it’s time to take a look at the person in the mirror and make them a priority.

My first suggestion is for you to go see your doctor, find out what your A1C is and then ask for all the information you can get…I know at Kaiser you can attend classes, web help, pamphlets and you get your own diabetes team and you have wonderful nurses like mine named Rebekah (she is so understanding & encouraging).

And we circle back around to what we all need; support. Don’t worry, you CAN do it! Nothing should hold us back from being the best we can be!! Set some goals, maybe small, like no soda, or l will walk 3xs a week for 30 minutes. Whatever it is let’s start striving to reach some goals. I’ll start with mine & you can do the same or make your own…and since I know my doctor is going to ask me tomorrow anyway I might as well have them lined up lol.

1. I will exercise at least 3xs this week but the goal is for 5.
2. I will take 15 minutes a day and just reflect, meditate, or journal.
3. I will lose 2 pounds this week. (Hopefully more but let’s just see lol)

(Got this great idea from another blogger named No fries for 365, his name is Jason & he’s awesome check out his blog)

In closing I want to say in total I’ve lost 23lbs, soo if I get the next 2 and make it to 25…I’ll share some pics of me…lol. I may even tell you my weight. So anyway & as always 1-1,000 pounds, we can do it!!

J

Hmmm how did I forget my diabetes?

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Soo I’m really a bone head…I seriously forgot about my diabetes & taking care of it. (I know how the heck do you forget a disease like that??). How did I remember….my feet!

Since I’ve been being a good girl and working out……..well who are we kidding y’all know its from my working it the other night in those heels. 🙂 but seriously I was running (ok ok jogging) on the treadmill last night & I noticed my big toe was hurting really bad & my blister still hadn’t healed from 2 weeks ago so I had to call Kaiser because it hit me…your a diabetic dummy & you have to protect your feet.

Well I went in and have blisters on both feet and she told me to rest my feet and not wear heels for 2 weeks…WHAT??? I love my heels, they make me feel thin and tall and gorgeous!!! Sigh***** oh well I will be obedient and where my old lady shoes 😦 I also have to just walk and not run when I’m working out.

Soooooooo of course there is a lesson here (thought you were going to get away without one huh). We have to walk (go slow in our lifestyle journey, this isn’t a diet or temporary) and not try to run (do things that are unhealthy) to our goals. If we lose a pound a week or maybe we hit a plateau in our workout, that’s ok because we are still moving our bodies, not eating junk and making a conscience decision to change. I would love to lose 5lbs a week, but I’m happy with the 2 I achieved this week….and I hope each of you are happy with your small or large accomplishments.

As always, 1 to 1,000 pounds we can do it!! (By the way, if you do have diabetes please make sure you are watching your blood glucose levels…when you exercise & lose weight it can affect you so be sure to stay close to your medical team.)

J

(Oh yeah I got 3 shots today!!! OUCH!!!!, just wanted sympathy) 😉

Another 2lbs lost~whoo hooo!! Another big lesson

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First can I just say how overwhelmed I am from all of the support, comments and messages you have all sent me!!! They mean the world to me and they really help me to keep fighting the food fight!! 🙂

Soooo…back to business (in my Beyonce voice)! Lol, I went to see my doc today and party rocking in the house…I’m down another 2 pounds!! I didn’t even think I had lost any weight since I was cheating on myself…But I was proved wrong. Not only have I lost a total of 9 pounds (almost to my first 10!!!) but I’ve actually gained muscle mass!! Look out y’all I’m about to be in a bikini..Sike!! But I am looking for a new dress in my new size I want to be!! And of course I’ll need new stilettos, and some matching accessories and shoot how about a new bag!! Oh yeah!! (Hint hint hubby!!) 😉

So today I was talking to my “dirty little secret” (she knows who she is) and I was telling her how Dr. Tran really encouraged me to stop being so hard on myself when I eat real food or fall short of my expectations. She quickly told me..”like when you were going to your appointment and you said, ‘I know I didn’t lose any weight this week’…I was flabbergasted!! I didn’t even recognize that I was downing myself just seconds before walking in the clinic! I thought to myself, what the heck girl you need to get it together…

I realize we can actually be our own “bad association”… We need to make sure we are surrounding ourselves with only positive motivating people and that includes the woman/man inside…

Pretty deep huh…just thinking about it can depress you but I don’t want you or me to feel depressed…I want us to all look in the mirror and decide that person looking back is imperfect and going to have some uphill battles but we are worthy, beautiful, handsome, sexy, gorgeous and any other adjective we can think of and we are all on our way to our goals! No matter how big or small! 1 pound to 1,000 pounds!!!!

So in closing, since I seem to have Beyonce stuck in my head…Who runs the world___? (Insert your name here)!!

J

(On yeah I made a goal to only eat my optifast products and not cheat on me…what’s your goal for the week)

Week four…and still struggling (long but good)

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To any of you who actually read my blog I apologize for not posting anything yesterday I thought, well even God took the seventh day off 🙂 j/k

Anyway…I’ve not been doing so good this weekend..when you have any addiction (drugs, alcohol, food) once you get a taste of it, it’s extremely hard to get the taste out. As I shared with you on Saturday night I ate animal and a cookie (for shame I didn’t reveal that). Well yesterday as always I started out good with shakes, but then when we had friends over to watch the game (side note: whoo hooo Denver Broncos!!) and I ordered pizza and wings and a friend bought cookies and cake. Ugh!!!! Why oh why….she also bought some fried green beans. (Green Beans are ok right?? Yeah I know I know not if they are deep fried lol) but I only ate four, to which everyone’s reply was that’s not enough food for you. Again I told them I have my shakes from optifast for my weight loss. Well long story short (I know it really…doesn’t sound like it haha) I end up eating 3 bites of pizza (yucky cheese) and I had 2 cookies. Sigh*********** I know, no will power.

So anyway I’m not feeling the best today so I decided to actually do my lesson for the week…Building Confidence. This hit me in a really big way…they give you 10 ways to build self confidence so I went through each one and I was slapped in the face….it’s like someone has been peeking in my windows to see what I’m doing and then wrote about it!! (Sounds familiar huh Ebony lol)

1. Fulfill your needs:

it brings out how only I can make myself happy and no one else. It also said to quit trying to solve other people’s problems, making them happy, or saving them from the consequences of their behavior.

I have to be honest…this is one of my biggest issues. I have a huge heart and I want to make everything ok for those I love, but I’m so focused on the others that I forget to help me… That’s why I have been having “cheats” everywhere. Carrying around guilt for not being able to undue someone else’s mistake.

2. (Actually its their number 5 but I can’t give you all of them)lol. Stop fighting change:

you’ll need to be willing to give up things the way they are in order to have them the way they can be. Learn to live with change and enjoy it

Again, another area I struggle with…I’m use to going out to eat with my family…going to the movies and having a giant bag of popcorn (w/o butter of course) and now it seems like because I can’t eat, we just don’t go and I miss that with them.

3. (Their number 6…. U know the rest) Keep company with positive people:

Negative people sap your energy and creativity with their constant put downs, complaints, self defeating thoughts, feelings and actions. Seek out positive people.

This one is self explaining… I don’t even think people realize how their negativity hurts me…just saying things like “what a waste of money” or “your just going to gain the weight back”. It’s hard but I’m working on staying away from that!

So in summary I see where I need to put my thinking hat at…I need to know its ok for me to be happy and the only person who can really do it is me (and my hubby) :). It’s ok if I go out to dinner with my family and only have a small cup of soup or green salad…it’s the company that’s fulfilling….and last but definitely not least…if your not a supporter of me, then your against me and I have the right to say Heck No!! Because I truly deserve more than that… We all do! So when you see someone trying to get up and change, please don’t kick them down and tell them they can’t do it, because we ALL can change!! I don’t care if you need to lose 1 or 1,000 pounds..we can do it!!

So, now that I got that off my chest I must say I feel better and I’m looking forward to learning and growing through this wonderful journey and I thank those of you who are going with me.

J

Big lesson learned on a Saturday night…

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Sooooo let me start by saying I’m so sorry to my followers and myself. 😦 I made a rookie dumb mistake tonight and hopefully I won’t have to pay for it on the scales Tuesday.

I went to a gathering to tell some dear friends goodbye as they are moving to California and this was their farewell party…I ate 4 of my products today before the gathering so I thought I would be ok…NOT!! Ok, the first thing is I’m a vegan and really don’t like to eat any type of animal product (those who are close to me can tell ya)…so when I saw there was some type of enchiladas I chuckled to myself & thought “whew they thought they was gonna get me.” Now I can’t tell you who the heck “they” is, but I thought I had won. Well I guess we had been there for about 2 hours and out of NO where (seriously freaky) I started smelling those enchiladas and I felt like Bruce from finding nemo!! Remember they were having their little “fish our are friends meeting” & then Dory’s nose bled and he smelled it and the other sharks tried to stop him and he said.. I’m Having Fish Tonight!!! Well that was me….I guess I just let myself get to hungry because all of a sudden I was having them enchiladas..with the cheese and meat!

Ugh!!! Ok just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt and actually after 3 bites I was done…but the fact that I would even allow myself to make a plate of it is very saddening to me. I’m working hard to get healthy and I can’t believe that I let myself down…so I decided to “work it off” while I was there..in 4 inch wedge heels.. Yeah I learned how to Wobble, and Cupid shuffle and whip my hair back and forth, all the time in my shoes!! That has to burn extra calories…right?? 🙂 just nod your head and agree with me please lol and thank you.

All in all I did have fun and I didn’t get too down on myself about my choices (except eating animal yuck) I realize there will be other Saturday nights where temptation will likely be, but if I plan accordingly I will be fine and so will you guys.

So for those of us on our weight loss journey this is what we need to do.
1. Plan ahead, one friend actually bought her own food to the function…and drink lots of water.
2. If you do eat something eat small portions and if possible eat a salad before your meal.
3. And this is a big one…if your not able to say no to the food right now, decline the invite. It’s ok If your going through a lot & your trying to watch what you eat & the temptation would be too much.

Remember how many minutes you have to walk/run on that treadmill just to burn 100 calories, and then think how in less than 60 seconds you can eat a candy bar, drink a pop, an grab a cookie. Those calories can total 500+. So it’s not worth it if you can’t control your portions and what your putting in your mouth.

So tonight I would like to leave you with a picture of my poor feet in them shoes lol!!!!(oh yeah another big lesson..don’t wear heels when your going to be on ya feet for 5hours!! Lol

Hope this helps at least one person to know..your not alone.

J

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Dealing with stress and not eating a sundae!

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There’s a quote I read the other day and I loved it….it said..

Don’t reward yourself with a treat, you are not a dog /

Do you find yourself doing this? I realize I was actually doing it even with my kids. For example if they did good on their homework, if you have a good day, a bad day, an emotional day….a blah blah blah blah day….. so you get my point?? so what would i say, “ok let’s go have ice cream” Hurray!!! Lol …I remember back in the day it seemed like there was absolutely nothing that a peanut buster parfait wouldn’t fix lol!! Well the great thing about that is that I’m vegan and don’t even like to think about eating ice cream but I have to work on not eating the fries too. Another great thing I learned today was my very first thought after dealing with the stress….”man I need to hit the treadmill” sigh…I do believe there is hope for me after all!! 🙂

There is hope for all of us if we quit rewarding behaviors with food. I just want to share a few little items I bought myself for my “treat” 🙂 it’s 2 scented candles, a key chain, and a hand sanitizer holder & bottle…how cute!! And I spent maybe one or two dollars over the price of I’ve cream.

So next time you need a “treat” buy yourself a scented candle, or a cute key chain…anything besides food because guess what…you will have them a lot longer than a treat… and what a nice reminder to have and look at and say “oh yeah, i can do this”.

I hope I helped one person who reads this to know we are not animals and should not treat our bodies as such..

J

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