A way back to happiness

After the tragedy in Newton last week I fell into a depression….it was such a sad tragedy and I felt so completely helpless and my heart literally ached for those families. After much prayer I can say I’m feeling better…

Unfortunately, I kind of went back to some bad ways and looked for comfort in food. Of course I didn’t find any in it and it actually made me feel worse. Stomach cramps, bloating, gas and nausea..ugh so not worth it!! My fibromyalgia was inflamed and I was in pain, unable to sleep and irritable.

So one night ~~morning~~ at 3am I began to write in my journal and I just kept writing and writing and then I said a prayer…then I was able to fall asleep and reflect.

Food does not comfort me, GOD does!! I’m a very spiritual woman and I draw my strength from the bible….a beautiful letter written to me by my Father, and it hits me…the bible says not to “over eat, or be overly anxious”. Which is exactly what I’ve always done….sadly. 😦

So the last few days I’ve been drawing my strength and determination from the bible…and I’ve been able to get back to eating right….the kids are on their winter break so lots of temptation everywhere but all I’ve had besides my optifast is fruit & popcorn(my kryptonite lol).

We went to the mall yesterday and I went into a regular ~~skinny~~ women’s shop and I tried on some jeans….and they fit 🙂 I actually had to have a moment ~~dropped it like it was hot!!! Lol~~ in the dressing room….a size 12!!!

Oh yeah I’m on my way…..where? Back to happiness!

Dec 13

Why I love Optifast

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I know I’ve posted about optifast before but I have to tell you guys just how much I love it!! It’s soooo convenient and it works!! (And just so everyone knows I don’t get paid to or compensated through optifast or anyone else, this is just my opinion).

I’ve now been on the program for 9 weeks and I look and feel better than I have for years!! I’m not just losing weight, I’m gaining me back. I guess we never know just how bad something was until you learn something good.

I’ve always had good self esteem but now it’s great!! I can fit into my clothes, walk a flight of stairs and not get winded, stay up all day without a nap and have a piece of mind!

Another big reason I love optifast is the support you get…my doctor and her staff are incredible! You really receive personal attention and support! (If your in Colorado check them out..you won’t regret it!!!) Dr. Angela Tran

I was also wondering why optifast doesn’t advertise like Jenny Craig or weight watchers and then I realized…they don’t have to. The people and the products speak for themselves!!

I still have plenty of time left to be on it and I’m looking forward to it…at first it was sooo hard and I didn’t think I could do it, but as I watch my body fat, blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure and weight go down I know I can do it…I mean dang I’m already off insulin and that was in the first month!

So I’m actually writing this for me…so when those days come around where it seems like everything is going wrong and I want to give up…I can look back at this blog and remember how good I felt.

Just me being silly lol..

Dec 11

An experience to share

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Tonight I volunteered at my girls school….can you guess what I did?? The freaking bake sale lol!! I think I did pretty good in sales for them..I did eat 2 peanut butter cookies and guess what..I didn’t feel bad. Sometimes you have to give in to a craving….everyone who knows me knows just how much I love peanut butter cookies 🙂 so just eating 2 was good for me.

As a matter of fact that was great for me considering the day I had…but anyway I sat next to a beautiful grandmother who is 70 years old and going to college!! She was so sweet & funny…she asks me what my iPad is and then tells me she has a smart phone & no idea how to use it lol! She just lost a child and was there to support her grand children…it was such a pleasure to meet her and talk to her.

She really helped me to see that we can do whatever we put our minds too…I mean dang, here she is at 70, working & going to school & taking care of family… She really helped me to put things in perspective. I was considering stopping my weight loss program because I keep having these “cravings” and I started to feel like what’s the point…but I know I was just trying to punk out (as the kids would say lol).

I go to the clinic tomorrow and for once I’m not nervous about the scale or the two cookies…I’m going to continue on this journey and be successful!! I thank those who sent me such up building messages & my 2 friends who actually listed their animal 🙂 I am going to keep my head up and keep doing me…no more worrying about the fun suckers!!

(I included a picture of my new friend because she inspired me soo!)

Dec 11

Blogging

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I thought that blogging about my journey would make me feel better..I was wrong. :(. Sometimes I feel like applying what we were all taught when we were young..

Don’t say anything unless you have something nice to say

Sometimes it’s very hard to let complete strangers into my journey…well actually I don’t mind you guys..it’s friends and family that cause me stress….Why?

I’ll tell ya…most of them don’t even read my blog and if they do…well..let’s just say my feedback hasn’t been the most helpful or encouraging.

Sigh…..I’m really not feeling it these last few days. My health has been down which makes my moods down and then I go into a depression and guess what I want to do..eat. It’s such a battle trying to change your lifestyle. Especially, when those around you aren’t doing the same 😦 I get invited out to eat at least twice a week..sometimes I go..sometimes I stay home.

I was just hoping that by sharing my journey with people I could be inspiring and encouraging…but at the end of the day (ugh..been watching WAY to many reality shows lol) I was feeling more discouraged than anything.

BUT…..drum roll please……I’m not giving up!! I’m going to continue to blog (my goal is everyday) and to continue to be honest with myself and my 1 follower lol….this will help me to be accountable to me and you…as a matter of fact please email me if you notice I’m MIA (missing in action).

mzthang5280@yahoo.com

Just for fun I’d like to see who actually reads my blog (family & friends)….if you actually read this, please email me (or post it on my wall on FB) and tell me what your favorite animal is…lol…and if you don’t its ok…hopefully my journey will encourage at least one person on the road of wellness.

P.S. I have lost 17lbs so far…and I want to run in my first marathon next year :). More details to follow..

Nov 29

Fun suckers…don’t let em in!!

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Do you know what a fun sucker is?? It’s any one/thing/place/person that sucks the good energy out of ya… For me it’s Walmart,( 🙂 ) lol, negative people, draining (emotionally) and overly opinionated people.

It’s pretty hard to spot them….they come sometimes baring gifts, words of encouragement or even a great sale (this would be Walmart lol) when in the end all they do is bring you down and take your money (Walmart)….(they smile in ya face, all the time the want to take ya place…the backstabbers…hmmm who sang that song?? They got it right!!)

This is especially true when your trying to change your lifestyle…. People can think that they are being supportive but in reality they are sabotaging you….

If you know someone who has decided to become vegan (like me 🙂 ) give up dairy, white flour, bread or sugar..or they want to run a marathon, have weight loss surgery….or whatever….don’t tell them how you could never do that…tell them good job!!!!! It’s extremely hard to make changes….but not impossible!!!!

As my dirty little secret (my BFF) likes to always tell me…stay positive!! This may mean that you need to get rid of some fun suckers…and find some fulfilling friendships!!

Nov 27

2 steps forward, 5 steps back

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It’s been a long time since I’ve been motivated to blog 😦 . It’s all because I fell far off the wagon!! It’s almost like I’m afraid of success! Last week was my best weight loss week and then I let life consume me….I once again forgot to take care of me!

I don’t celebrate holidays so I can’t even blame that…it was just being home with the hubby & the kids….then my sister went into labor and I was up all night, (seems like for 2 nights) and that really threw me off my game. Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon having a new little niece but I’m exhausted!!

No exercise in the last week, no sleep and eating junk…ugh!! So now it’s time to face the music, I have my appointment tomorrow & I know it’s not going to be good…

I did it to myself but I’m holding me accountable sooooooooo here’s too getting back on track!! Also, here’s a picture of my new niece…a beautiful blessing!!! 🙂

Nov 20

Get up & move something :)

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Just wanted to write a quick post about exercising….YES (ummm heck no) is what your thinking lol! I don’t know what part of the world you live in, I live in beautiful Colorado (what about them Denver Broncos!!! 🙂 ) and lately the weather has been beautiful and perfect to get up and get out in!!

So I was thinking of people who may be dealing with issues with weather…or heck maybe you just don’t want to go to a gym…I realize that it may be intimidating to some of us who aren’t in the best of shape to go walk on a treadmill on 2.0 when the person next to you is running on 10.0!!!

I’ve felt this way for a long time, so I started buying video game workouts…check these out:

I’ve had all of these gems and wasn’t really using them…well not anymore!! I love the dance & Zumba games!! (You cant tell me I’m not Fergie playing the BEP’s experience lol!!!) They are so fun and everybody in the family can do it, they also have great work out DVD’s you can buy or check out from your local library and if that’s not enough….they even offer fitness on cable!!! :-0

I know…who knew right 🙂 so no more excuses…lets get out there and move something people!!!

Nov 18

Another tempting weekend

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Were you tempted this weekend?? I sure was….boy I tell ya, the smell of food has really been getting to me lately. Probably because I’ve been surrounded by delicious food all weekend!!

Every week when I meet with my doctor at the end of the session she always asks me about what challenges I may be having for the week…I sat there and thought about it and my answer..LIFE!!

Everyday is a stressful day for eating healthy…they have soooo many commercials and ads telling us about cookies, cinna buns, candy, burgers, happy meals, blah, blah, blah!!! How come we don’t have more ads about eating healthy & exercising…..no wonder we are all so unhealthy!!!

Anyway…..I guess I kind of went off my topic which is trying to keep remaining healthy on the weekends when the rest of your family is enjoying their ~~delicious~~ disgusting, ~~mouth watering~~, stomach turning, food!! So as always it was difficult for me this weekend…but I endured!!!! :). I had to actually take some pictures to show everyone what I passed up (maybe this will help someone on Thursday). 🙂

I didn’t eat anything!! I must say it was difficult but I prayed (of course) about it and then I focused on my health and how eating all of those things contributed to my weight gain…I could have ate a salad (that’s what I brought to the gathering) but I decided to stick to my plan and only consume my optifast products…I felt so good, I focused on me & how I was feeling about getting healthy… So this is what I had..

The best thing about it….I did it by choice…my choice!! I didn’t feel peer pressure to eat, I didn’t feel like an outsider eating my peanut butter bar, I felt in control of my surroundings & my addiction!! Also, hearing how good I looked with my weight loss was a HUGE motivator!! Even if no one else were to say it…I say it to myself…it keeps me sane (lol) and focused….so as always, 1-1,000 pounds…we can do it!!

Nov 15

A dear John letter…to fat

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Hey everyone, I just read the best thing on Facebook…it was a dear John letter to fat!! I thought, heck yeah let’s tell this fat to hit the road jack!! (And don’t ya come back..no more, no, more, no more!!!). Can’t remember who sings that but BIG shout out to them!! Lol!! So here is my letter…

Dear ~~John~~ (Fat),

It’s over!!! I’m really, really, really tired of the way you have been mistreating me for over 10 years now! I’m not sure how our relationship began…I think it was because after having my 3 child, my body went into congestive heart failure. I was scared, thought I was going to die, didn’t want to leave my husband with my three babies, all of whom I love more than life!! So at first I did really good and took care of myself, then they started putting me on all of these meds and I thought

“Hey, I can live my life, these medications are going to take care of everything”

Humph!! Not a great plan but its the one I chose, then I started eating, and eating and eating and I became depressed, discouraged and disgusted!!

Sigh***** that’s where our love affair began, we started dancing in circles..I would see you and get sad, so I would eat….then I would be sad…why? Because I ate…a terrible dance!!

Well I’m officially telling you..THE PARTY IS OVA!!! I’ve traded in those dancing shoes for some tennis shoes and I’m running…literally!! I’ve decided this relationship has got to go, all this time I thought you were comforting me and all you were doing was killing me!

So today I say goodbye ~~John~~ Fat, I am an incredible woman with so much potential…I can not deny myself my own love anymore..you see I realize I didn’t actually love me, just you…Not anymore, my body is a temple and from now on I will treat it as such!!

Sincerely,

P.S. if you don’t believe me check out my treadmill picture!! Deuces!!!

(Whew, that felt good to write!! Thanks for letting me share guys & gals) 🙂

Nov 13

Survived a stressful week…and no cake!

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I’ve been dealing with a lot of issues lately and really haven’t had much to say…..well nothing really positive. Then it hit me! I had a baby shower for my sister here at my home and I didn’t eat any cake!! 🙂

I did nibble here and there on carrots and olives & a tiny piece of a sandwich, but I didn’t eat the junk!! I realize I need to celebrate all of my accomplishments even if they seem small at the time. I’ve been dealing with an enormous amount of stress the last week and I’ve held my own!! As I’ve told you before ice cream was my comforter but I’m actually learning how to cope with the stress without food.

How have I done it….PRAYER, first and foremost!!!! Then I really leaned on my support system, went for walks and kept my mind occupied. It also helped that I didn’t have any junk food in the house and with my car still in the shop, I couldn’t just go get something.

So lessons learned….

1. Pray about your struggles and have faith that you can over come your food addictions…
2. I can get through trials without food..
3. Don’t keep junk food in the house….
4. Definitely have some support & reach out to them!
5. Celebrate me….why, because I love me no matter how much I weigh.